Editor’s Note: Rick Moore of Madison, MS, has two sons, Jack (12) and Luke (9), and one very large sense of humor. His Facebook posts are peppered with accounts of his sons testing him; trying his patience; melting his heart; and making him laugh.
For your reading pleasure, Sunnyhuckle has collected some of the more poignant talks with Jack, Luke, and their father from 2014. Get ready to smile.
November 26, 2014
Luke: (Helping prepare dinner by peeling vegetables) Darn it! I dropped it again because my eyes keep watering!
Me: Isn’t that a potato?
November 1, 2014
Jack “forgot” he wasn’t supposed to bring his iTouch to school yesterday, so it magically ended up in his bag.
Me: Jack, you “forgot”?
Luke: He has memory issues!
Jack: Yes, I forgot. And I was going to ask a girl out and needed it in case I got her number.
Me: You couldn’t just write it down on a piece of paper?
Jack: No, this isn’t the ’80s!
Connie (Rick’s wife and the boys’ mother): We’re in T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!
August 17, 2014
Jack turns 12 on Wednesday, and he is all too ready to grow up.
Jack (with sincere excitement): Mom, guess what?
Jack: My voice cracked three times last night?
Connie: Why is that a big deal?
Jack (dumbfounded): Are you kidding? It’s part of puberty!!!
Me (to myself): Oh my goodness!
Jack (with a huge look of satisfaction): Oh yeah!
July 23, 2014
Jack: Whatcha watchin’?
Jack: What’s it about?
Me: It’s kind of like Sherlock (which he loves), but he acts like a psychic.
Jack: Oh. Who’s he a psychic to?
Me: What do you mean?
Jack: You know, like Robin is Batman’s psychic, who is his?
Me: You mean sidekick, not psychic.
Jack: Huh? Why? What does he do, just go around kicking to the side all the time?
Me: Really, Jack? Are you messing with me?
Jack: No. And who’s that guy? (pointing to the Gus character on the screen)
Me: Actually…that’s his sidekick.
July 20, 2014
At dinner, Luke was ravenous for the mashed potatoes to the tune of three helpings.
Me: Luke, slow down on the mashed potatoes, and eat your fish and corn!
Luke (in his “you know I’m cute” mode): I beg your pardon!
Jack (bossy as usual): Luke, you better listen to him. I mean, he is the dominant male!
And that is why I feel good about paying $30 to see Planet of the Apes with the kids!
June 23, 2014
Luke: Daddy, are you watching TV, or may I watch something?
Me: This show will be over in five minutes, and then you can have it. Will that make you happy?
Luke (matter of factly): No, sir. I’m already happy.
June 17, 2014
Jack: Dad, can we watch Jaws?
Me: Right now? It might be too scary right before bedtime.
Luke (in his “I’m cool” voice): Nah, we ain’t scared of nuttin’! (pauses) Well…except for maybe talking to girls!
Me: Oh…ok! Jaws would be good.
June 7, 2014
At the dinner table the other night…
Me: So…did y’all have a good day?
Jack and Luke in unison: Yes, sir!
Me: Did you get your reading done? (Luke is required to read 20 minutes a day)
Jack (quickly): We both did!
Luke (cutting his eyes to Jack): Yes.
Me: Really? Are you sure?
Jack: Yes! We read 30 minutes!
Me: O.K. So, if I check the video on the nanny cam, I’ll see that you’re telling the truth, right?
Luke (concerned): We have cameras!?
Me: Yep! But I have to pay to access it, so if y’all didn’t read as you said, you’ll have to pay it! You know you should never lie!
Luke: Well…Jack told me to say we started reading at 4:40, but it was really 4:47!
Jack (guilt all over his face): No I didn’t!
Me: Jack, would 7 minutes of reading be so painful that you’d have to lie about it?
Jack (head down): No, sir.
Luke: Dad, now it’s time for you to be honest with us…did you just lie about the nanny cam?
Me (cowering): Ummm…well…yes! Well played!
May 27, 2014
At the Magic Kingdom…
Jack: Can we get that ice cream thingy?
Me: Do you ever think about anything other than ice cream and sweets?
Jack (sincerely): Ummm…no. Am I supposed to?
Me: That’s a fair question!
April 11, 2014
Me (in a firm whisper): Luke, you need to settle down and go to bed! It’s past your bedtime and you’re gonna get us both in trouble!
Luke (unsuccessfully whispering through his giggles): No I’m not! I’m just going to get you in trouble!
Me: I know! That’s what I meant!
March 1, 2014
Sitting by the bonfire in the back yard with Luke…
Me: Luke, if you wanna go see the movie, the fire needs to die down.
Luke: Fine, but I want to get my rock (as he points to it in the middle of the fire)
Me: Absolutely not! It will burn you!
Luke: Will you get it then?
Me: No, now go get cleaned up so we can go.
Luke: Please, it’s my favorite rock, will you get it? (let the manipulation begin)
Me: No! And if you ask again, we won’t be going to the movie. Choose wisely!
Luke: Fine. Dad, get the rock!
Me: You’re so bad!
Luke: No, I’m good, because I didn’t ask!
…I’m in so much trouble, but I can’t help but smile!
February 26, 2014
Me (emphatically): Luke, stop stalling! You have 30 seconds to do what you have to do and go to bed! 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5…
Luke (having not budged): You can count all you want; it’s not like I’m really gonna get into trouble or anything.
Me (silent…because he’s not wrong)
I’m not cut out for this!
January 21, 2014
Playing Apples to Apples, the word was “crazy.”
Jack: I chose “New York,” because the people are crazy there. They go around murdering each other and going to strip clubs! (face turns red)
Me: Strip clubs? Do you even know what a strip club is?
Jack (face turning a deeper shade of red as he laughs hysterically): It’s where girls dance on poles and strip down!
Connie (shocked): Where’d you learn that?
Jack (all too quickly through his laughter): Watching movies with Dad!
Me (face turning red to match Jack’s): Do what!?! Next card, please!
January 14, 2014
One minute he’s melting down, and the next minute he’s melting our hearts! Of course, after giving this letter, along with a big hug, he got rewarded with a little spelling lesson.
“Dear Mom & Dad, I am sorry for throughting a fit to night. I know that you just trying to help me but I can get mad at times. I am sorry for yelling at yall tonight. Thank for the dinner.
Love, Luke XOXOXOXOXO I love yall so much.”
Here’s to 2015 being filled with many new memories at the Moore home and yours.